Sigh ...

I spent 2 hours yesterday - blended cauliflower and broccoli into crumbs, baked the crumbs, made the pizza dough, baked it. A made the sausages so we could make him a 3 finger sandwich ..

He ate 2 bites and was done. Yesterday was a little different though ... A took his mother shopping so could not bake the crusts for me as I bathed L, so by the time I came down to bake them, he was famished and ate 1.5 banana, some apple and a carrot ... so when the pizza was done, so was he ...

All that work, no exercise time ...  for 2 bites ...

Sometimes I wonder why I make things so hard on myself ... why not just take him for root canals/fillings and then every body go back to eating what they like ... why do all the research, why fight for xrays, why fight father and son to change diet for 5-6 months ... why struggle to research new recipes, shop for ingredients and figure out how to adapt them to our GF nightshade free kitchen ... why?

The hardest thing for me is to fight A on our diet changes and while I fight him, I also research recipes and shop and then try and convince L that the food is great when his father sits by wanting to give him bread ..

Some days I just want to crawl into bed and cry ...

Here is the squeezed cauliflower being put into the cheese/spice mix

Broccoli flower after baking and before being squeezed dry in a cheese cloth:

Squeezed broccoli in the cheese/spice mix:

 Sprouted corn that might soon be dry enough to try popping:

Baked cauliflower crust:

Baked broccoli crust:

All that work for 2 little pizza crusts ..

3 finger sandwich that the mother in law enjoyed

Squash pizza

L misses pizza.

I found a recipe online for squash pizza.

Squash is now baking in the oven. Lets see how it goes.

Update from later:

L and father ate the pizza and loved it. Too much cheese for me, so I ate the squash plain. Squash is a great source of phosphorus, it has protein and is low carb ...

I drank the 3 cups of squash water that I squeezed out of the baked squash.

Here are pics of our food experiments

Bone Broth - we boil the bones 4-5 times at about 10 hours each and get several iterations of the soup. Makes the bones very cost efficient.

Here is my sprouted corn which is now drying in the oven. I will try to pop it after it has dried - then L and his father can have an enhanced movie watching experience not inhibited by my fear of phytic acid.

Here are the beef and liver cakes

Sprouted almonds drying up

Soaked walnuts drying up

Squash pizza before the oven

Squash pizza after the oven

Ta-da!

Coconut oil mouthwash

We ran out of the dentist recommend ACT a few days ago. Today I asked L if he would try and new mouthwash. I gave him a few crystals of xylitol to taste. He approved. Then I gave him a teaspoon of coconut oil and xylitol and had him swirl it in his mouth. The plan was for 2 mins. He asked me if this was safe to swallow. With the ACT mouthwash I had told him repeatedly - no not swallow - this is poison .. uugg ..

So, today he asked me worriedly if he could swallow this? And i said, yes, this is fine if you swallow by accident. Remember that we are spitting it into the trash can and not into the sink.

So, he and I sat on the edge of the bathtub ... my little boy and I .. and I held him and kissed him as he swished the coconut oil and I sent good thoughts and the force to his little teeth ... willing them to heal ...

Then I forgot to check the time as he was playing with some beads which fell down and while he and I were picking them up, 3-4 minutes elapsed.

I will try next to add clove oil or goldenseal to it as that is supposed to keep abscesses from forming.

Today we did not have as much success with the liver/beef cakes. He had one but I had to push it.

I will get him a probiotic tomorrow as I feel that he is a little constipated.

On another note, I found sprouted lentil pasta and bought a pack. Lets see how it goes ...

Liver success

So, the boy claims to be vegetarian ....

How do I get liver pate into him? and grass fed beef?

Bone broth is camouflaged in the lassi and veg smoothie so we are good there.

I made him liver pate with bacon, he would not eat it. I hid it in his sprouted lentil soup, he was having none of it.

Today I bought ground beef. I made a puree of garlic, celery, carrot, apple, basil leaves with stems and everything, 2 whole eggs, .5tsp cinnamon, .5 tsp pepper, 1tsp cumin, 1tsp salt, my remaining liver pate, added in the beef and fried it.

Success!!! he loved it and chowed down 3 or 4.

Even I ate one .. I really liked the taste of it, I could taste the liver and  I DO NOT LIKE BEEF ... but in the spirit of doing what I make the boy do, I ate 1.

I made a batch and have frozen it.

The diet goes on

So, we go onwards with our attempt at a grain free diet. It is hard, so very, very hard .... Extended family does not understand and it leads to weird situations ...

Yesterday, we had a movie night at home. I invited some of L's friends. I told them not to get anything knowing that whatever they got would 100% have grain even though they know that we are a GF household.

Right enough, one family came with mini-icecream cones and the other with Swedish fish.

I had baked pear for dessert. Organic pears with .5tsp of honey or sugar + .5 tsp of GF vanilla essence.

I hid the icecream and did not offer the fish. Neither did I offer lollipops or chips or popcorn. I had the children watch the movie without stuffing their faces.

The husband said I was a meanie-killjoy ... killing the experience of watching a movie...

Stuffing your face with phytic acid apparently enhances this process of movie enjoyment ..

I ignored him and offered the children my pears at half time.

They enjoyed them and never knew the difference.

Dinner had grain - white rice, butter chicken and steamed green beans.

Here is what L's typical diet looks like:

Breakfast: Bone broth smoothie (.5 cup bone broth + 1 stick celery + 1 carrot  + 1 boiled egg yolk + .25 cup fresh pineapple + .5 banana), 2 calcium tablets.

Snack at school - veggies

Lunch - Unknown, but he claims to have pasta and bread - UGGGG

Snack - fruit and crackers

Pick up from school: Bone broth lassi (.5 cup bone broth + 2tsp maple syrup + 1 cup raw milk yogurt)

Dinner - bone broth sprouted lentil soup or baked sweet potato or burger without the bun, .5 avocado, sugar snap peas

Fingers crossed this will work. I examine his teeth and gums every day. All seem to be ok for now ...

We have the FCLO + butter oil WITHOUT fail and I brush and floss twice a day followed by xylitol gum to clean out what the flosser missed ....

Dr #5 - Root canals postponed for now - and we watch very carefully - and follow the diet with zero tolerance for deviation

We got the xrays ... L cried and squirmed but the staff was just awesome. The nurse initially told me, dont worry we wont do xrays today.

I grabbed her arm and said "NO we WILL do xrays today" .. she looked at me startled .. and I explained what I wanted, the other diagnoses, the other xrays .. when I got to the diet part, she tried to keep her face straight but I could see her mouth move in a smirk. She said it has only been 3 months you wont see any change... if the child is scared then we wont force it ...  I said "I NEED the xrays" .. can you PLEASE try?

So, we practiced with the bitewings .. L was such a trooper .. he gagged a little and I held my breath, hoping and hoping that he would sit still. She offered him a bribe of a coin which he could insert into a machine for a reward ...

L was suddenly very interested .. he likes winning and he likes coins ...

She was absolutely fabulous .. she got him to hold the bitewing in his mouth and jingled her pocket at him reminding him about the coins  told him to hold still, counting and rushed to get the xrays of top and bottom!!!! both sides!!!!

L got his coin!!

The doc came in, looked at the xrays and said that there were small cavities on the upper and lower right quadrant - but nothing to worry about for now. Those could be left and observed. Previous diagnosis had been for a root canal on the bottom premolar.

The issue was the left lower and top. He said that the premolar had a deep shadow, the nerve and pulp were intact, the dentin seemed to be intact over the nerve, however, given how close the decay was to the nerve, he recommended a baby root canal.

We compared the xrays from 3 months ago.

All the previous diagnoses had been based on this 1 xray that did not factor in the current state of his teeth - and this is what I have been fighting with 4 dentists for - current xrays so we can compare and make decision based on comparison BEFORE he is sedated ...

He said that those xrays were excellent, they were from an advanced kind of machine that gets great detail, however, it can also skew information and make cavities look deeper than they are .. he said that he thought that the cavities looked the same ...

In my ears I heard "cavities are arrested"- which is what the diet is supposed to do - however, it takes 3-4 months for recovery - if even possible.

I explained what I had been doing, showed him the supplements, tooth powder (L and  I now use tooth powder to brush and not tooth paste), diet changes - bone broth, no grains, sprouted lentils, liver pate .. he asked if L tolerated the tooth powder and I smiled and L and said "Yes, he does such a wonderful job with it and he is SO wonderful with the fish oil" L puffed up proudly and smiled.

He said that the diet changes were great, tooth powder fantastic if I could get L to do it and he also mentioned the ACT mouth wash at which point I smiled at L again and said "oh yes, he does that for 1 full minute every day and he is fabulous about it"

I asked the doc if we could wait and observe. Doc asked if L had any symptoms of pain and I said no. Doc said he was ok if I wanted to wait, as long as we brush daily and floss now and then .. NOW AND THEN??? I exploded? We floss after EVERY meal, we have xylitol gum before naps, we dont eat stickly fruit ..

Xylitol gum? says the doc .. yes, that is excellent .. that will arrest further cavity development.

I asked told the doc that I examine his gum every day, as long as it is pink and firm, I can safely assume no abscess?

The doc interrupted my monologue "Is he your only child?"

At which point I said "Can you tell I am obsessive"?

He laughed and said "Well - when you have more than 1, this level of attention to detail is not possible'

Yes, He is my one and only and i absolutely do not want sedation and drilling if I can avoid it ..

Are was with me and he took over the questioning now, asking what if L suddenly developed pain, does the doc have sedation? Yes, said the doc and he has the ETo2 monitor that I had questioned the other anesthesiologist about and annoyed him .. I very nearly kissed the doc when he said ETo2.

Not to digress even further but I had a ped anesthesiologist call me and discussed in detail what monitoring is best standard practice etc. I knew that pulse ox takes too long and wanted ETo2 but the sedation doc with doc 2 did not offer it and got annoyed with me for asking ...

I was not happy but what to do ..

Anywho,  this doc, doc #5 is in network(!!!), has sedation although the dates are booked pretty far out and will do the white caps for us. I explained my issues with the metal caps about absorption of metal and blah blah ..

He looked at me thoughtfully and explained that the caps were stainless steel and nickel but yes there are risks of nickel allergies so if I wanted he would do the zirconium caps ...

And he used sedation specialists that used ETo2!!!

I WAS SOLD!!

The doc examined L's teeth with the mirror and pokey thing. He said that arrested decay looked black. L's decay looks black so I asked him if that meant it was arrested. He said that since the decay was deep, it was possible that the top was black and there was brown decay beneath ... however ... He was willing to work with me on observing L, he said that in case L's face puffed up suddenly with no warning (he said there would be a lot of warning before this point, lots of sleepless nights), however, if it did, he could do an emergency filling that would last 20 mins ...

Are asked him if he had ever seen remineralization of dentin. Doc said he has seen it in the enamel but not in the dentin, however, he has seen cavities arrest and not progress - but only if the enamel was untouched. This was my opinion as well - The minute you drill the enamel and break it, the tooth loses its integrity and ability to heal itself - as you can see, I have granted myself a DDS.

Are asked him what the chance of arrest in the cavities were like.

Doc said that you have to look at the child as a whole and not as a tooth alone. As a whole L is healthy, alert and diet and oral hygiene seemed to be good. His immune system seemed to be good - given this, the chance of arrest was good. He gave it a higher chance of arrest than something else which I cant remember. He said that if L had been sickly, he would not have risked an oral infection as his immune system was already fighting other things. Another of his patients, a young child, had 1 kidney and blood cancer and he said for him, I have to drill and fill everything - we cant load the immune system anymore. My heart ached when I heard about that little boy .... it still does when I think about him and his parents .. how much I have to be thankful for ... 1 perfect little boy with 2 spots of decay in his teeth .. thats all ...

Then he asked about the sedation doc that we were going to use and I explained my issues with his approach. Apparently there have been issues with children having sort of issue as the pulse ox has reports oxygen insufficiency with a 2 min delay ...

Phew ....

He asked me who my deposit was with and he offered to call the doctor and tell her what he observed and that he was comfortable working with the family to observe the child. I was so glad that he offered and again had the urge to hug him - an urge I NEVER get as I do not like my personal space breached ...

Then he walked L out to the goody room where L could use his tokens ... L was in heaven!! The doc explained all his options to him and then continued to talk to me - he asked me how I found him and I told him that his reviews were fabulous and I had been recommended by another mother etc ...

I came home, called doc#2 and cancelled. I will get my deposit back from the doc but the admin did not know about the sedation doc if he would return the deposit of $650 ... lets see ....

So .. in my world .. at the current time .. there is peace ...

And bone broth cooking on the stove and lentils sprouting and drying and raw yogurt being made in the oven and liver pate to be hidden into L's soup this evening ...

and ... and ...

I had some myself .. I disguised it for myself in the vegetarian soup and I had some too ... yuck, throw up yuck ... but I had it ... I do what I make the boy do .... and I believe it is good nutrition ....

On that note ... good bye for now ....

5th dentist appointment tomorrow

Our sedation and root canal appointment is set for 3/20. We were unable to get xrays because the 3rd dentist would not do them saying that he did not believe in remineralization, the 4th dentist attempted but did not seem to have ped sized bitewings as he was a holistic dentist and not a ped dentist.

The 2nd dentist we saw is the one who we have the root canals scheduled with and she said that she would only do them when L was sedated. She said a lot of other things that were totally reasonable - like sometimes, based on xrays, she thinks she will need a resin filling and then ends up with a root canal and sometimes vice versa .. she did not think deep fillings would work if the decay was too deep as the tooth could crack ... yes I agree with it all .. except ...

I cannot agree to have L sedated before xrays are done .. what if his teeth are improving with the diet and supplements? He will already be sedated, at this point, we just have to go ahead and do the fillings.I will have no choice to say lets wait for the next appointment and hope that I will not lose my $1K deposit.

I called the 1st dentist with whom we had done the xrays initially and asked if she would please redo the xrays so I could see if 6 weeks of diet changes have made any difference. Her office has not called me back. With 8 days to go to the sedation date, I need to inform Dr #4 quickly.

So - I made the appointment with Dr #5 for tomorrow am. I dont know if we have had enough of time for the teeth to remineralize. Dr #3, the holistic dr told me that he could see remineralization on L's teeth and that the enamel looked good but he also recommended filling the cavities as he said that this process could take 6 months and he was afraid that the back teeth which currently have cavities could develop into root canals or need to get pulled and this would be an issue was those teeth are essential to the bone formation.

Again - valid ... but L will never sit through his fillings without sedation and I dont know if RescueRemedy will calm L enough. Also, he diagnosed L with a lip tie which explains why L has issues with xrays .. it seems to hurt him when the bitewing is placed in his mouth.

I hope we can get xrays tomorrow .. I really do ....

However, xrays are hard to read and not a good tool for conclusive findings in something like remineralization given how short a time span we have ..

Initial xrays were taken in Nov, I did not change anything in his diet until Jan 31. It is more than likely that the decay got worse during this time which was 2.5 months. I have changed his diet and given him supplements for a few days less than 6 weeks. Most of the blog posts said that the mothers took the children back to the dentists in 3-4 months and the cavities were gone ... Dr Bronson said that this will take about 6 months .. so I am afraid that the xrays wont show us much improvement if any .. and not because it is not working but perhaps because there has not been enough of time to reverse and improve it.

However, if the xrays show that the decay is much worse and maybe in more teeth then I know that what I am doing is not helping at all or if it shows that the decay is worse in the back teeth that Dr Bronson feels is essential for his bone development then I think this would make me feel ok with sedation and filling.

If it the same or marginally better then I think Are would also be ok with delaying this ....

So I hope we can get the xrays tomorrow. His lip tie might make this an issue .... but A does not want to involve the lip tie into the teeth fix at this point given how complicated I have made everything :(

It is interesting though ... since researching this I believe that our daily food is medicine and can have the same positive and negative effects. Everything we put into our mouths impacts how we feel and how our bodies react.

I am amazed at just how much advertising lies .. I dont know why it amazes me .. advertisements are for the purpose of selling a product .. but yet when ads say "sugar coated whole wheaties are the best way to start your day" and I look at the ingredients, so many chemicals, so MUCH sugar and now I realise how much damage whole grain can do if not properly processed ... 

Yes, I understand why we are such a sick nation .... 

What we are eating is harming us .. but man alive .. does it taste good!!! I miss bread .. I really, really, really, really, really do ...

I love bagels, I love doughnuts ... I love rice ...

I miss grains ....

But I have now started look at the nutritional content of my food. Eating pumpkin and spinach beats bread hands down ... bread has almost no nutrition .... veggies and fruit are not enough though .. I believe some amount of animal produce is required and should balance out the protein.

I think there is reason why vegetarian nations do not produce Olympic athletes or sportsmen .. vegetarian protein alone is not sufficient to produce the muscle mass that is necessary ...  I do not like to eat animal products .. but I do a lot of things I dont like ...